Dear Editor,
EACH year on February 14, Valentine’s Day arrives adorned with red roses, candlelit dinners, carefully chosen gifts, and public declarations of affection. Social media platforms are filled with curated expressions of romance, restaurants reach full capacity, and jewellery boxes are opened in celebration. For many, it is a joyful occasion.
Yet, beyond the flowers and photographs lies a more important question: What is love, truly?
While the calendar designates a single day to honour love, authentic love cannot be confined to a date. It is neither seasonal nor performative. It is not measured by the price of a gift or the grandeur of a gesture. Love is not a spectacle reserved for public display; it is a daily practice.
Real love is revealed in quiet, consistent moments. It appears in early-morning encouragement and late-night reassurance. It is reflected in patience during disagreement, and in kindness when tensions rise.
It remains steady amid uncertainty, and resilient in the face of challenge. Love, in its healthiest form is dependable and sustaining. Equally important is the recognition of what love is not.
Love is not abuse. It is not manipulation. It is not control disguised as protection or humiliation masked as humour. Love does not thrive on fear, nor does it leave physical or emotional scars. It is not silence born of intimidation, nor violence excused as passion.
For too long society has romanticised suffering, repeating phrases such as “love hurts” until pain has been normalised within relationships. This narrative must be challenged. Healthy love does not erode confidence, isolate individuals from support systems, or diminish self-worth. Authentic love fosters security. It strengthens rather than silences.
A healthy relationship is not defined by power or dominance, but by partnership. It consists of two individuals choosing to walk side by side, each whole and valued. It allows space for honest communication, personal growth, and mutual respect. Love should be a refuge, not a battlefield—a space where individuals feel safe to breathe, speak, and evolve.
Valentine’s Day can also serve as a moment of reflection. Are we loving in ways that uplift? Are we communicating with empathy and respect? Are we cultivating relationships in which both people are free to grow?
Love is not possession; it is connection. It is not control; it is collaboration. It does not require self-erasure but encourages shared progress and collective strength.
Perhaps most fundamentally, love begins within. Self-respect and self-awareness form the foundation for all meaningful relationships. Embracing self-worth enables individuals to establish boundaries, to walk away from harm, and to choose peace over chaos. One’s value does not diminish simply because it is unrecognised by another.
This Valentine’s Day, let the celebration extend beyond romance. Let it become a reminder that love should elevate, not diminish. It should inspire growth, not instill fear. It should empower individuals to become stronger, not smaller.
To those in healthy relationships, continue to nurture them with intention and care. To those facing hardship in silence, know that safety and respect are not luxuries—they are rights. And to those still waiting for love, begin with yourself. The right relationship will never require you to shrink in order to belong.
Valentine’s Day is not about perfection; it is about purpose. It is about choosing kindness over cruelty, patience over pride, and healing over harm.
Celebrate love today. More importantly, practise it tomorrow—and the day after that. Demonstrate it in daily actions, in thoughtful words, and in the way you treat yourself and others.
Because love is not proven in a single day of celebration. It is demonstrated in consistent commitment.
Love should heal. Love should empower. Love should help us rise, not just on February 14, but every day of the year.